Don't Throw the Baby Out With the Bath Water: Evaluating Parenting Books

Whilst lamenting my latest sleepless night to a friend, she offered to loan me her copy of Richard Ferber's bestselling/notorious book, Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems*. I balked at it, but she said that I might find the section on sleep disorders interesting.  She's a very good friend, so I accepted the book, and let it sit on my nightstand for a little while, looking very incongruous next to Dr. Sears' Baby Book.

Then, one night, after a particularly rough bedtime, I picked it up and started flipping to different sections.  My friend had made the point that, although I might not agree with his methods, Ferber is a doctor, and not just another mom like Elizabeth Pantley.  I was surprised to find that the entire book (it's actually rather hefty) was not all about letting babies cry in their bedrooms.  The section on sleep disorders was quite interesting, as was the section on addressing specific sleep difficulties.  It was the first sleep book I'd read that addressed extended night waking in a productive way, and it gave me a new idea of something to try with DC, who just turned one.  I'm actually quite glad that I read parts of the book. (To be honest, I don't see myself reading the whole thing because I find CIO methods upsetting to read about).

My daughter, AW, is almost three and has always been a fantastic sleeper, so I haven't been doing too much reading on toddler sleep.  On the other hand, there is a growing list of positive parenting books on my Amazon wish list, and I've read a few already.  I've also been spending time reading about approaches to eating, with the desire to help her cultivate a healthy relationship with food. My sister recommended Kids, Carrots, and Candy by Jane Hirschmann.  I didn't agree with everything in this book either (it said that comfort nursing would create unhealthy associations with using food for comfort).  The book recommends giving children free rein over their food choices to allow them to listen to their bodies, rather than insisting on clean plates at every meal.  Free rein isn't completely for us, but we did establish a snack basket and are trying to resist forcing her to eat if she isn't hungry.

I'm glad I read both of these books, even though I didn't come away loving them. They both gave me useful information, but my own parenting style remained intact.  While writing this post, I realized that I use OBC's guiding principles when reading parenting advice, whether in blogs or books, even though I don't word it that way to myself.  Here they are:

1. Trust your instincts.

2. You can’t spoil a baby.

3. If what you are doing is working for you, your partner, and your baby, great! Keep doing it!

4. If what you are doing is not working for you, your partner, or your baby, it’s ok! You can change it!

5. There are no magical times when you must start or stop something.

6. No habit you create now is irreversible.

7. And never forget, trust your instincts!

As you can see, it's so important to trust your instincts.  That should always come first.  I turn to parenting books when my instincts aren't giving me enough information, and I reject anything that doesn't align with my instincts (such as letting a baby cry or refusing to make eye contact with my baby).  Even before I was an OBC teacher and agreed to promote these guiding principles, they aligned with what I believed as a parent, so they are great in helping me decide what advice might be helpful.

*In case you haven't heard of the Ferber method or "Ferberizing," it is a form of cry-it-out (CIO) sleep training, which is recommended against by Our Baby Class.

Book Review: Sleeping Like a Baby by Pinky McKay

This post is a new feature for Green Mama Life and Our Baby Class of Piedmont Virginia: book reviews!  I've been reading a lot of parenting books lately, and thought I should share my experiences with what I've been reading.  

Today, I'm going to review Sleeping Like a Baby: Simple Sleep Solutions for Infants and Toddlers by Pinky McKay. McKay is an internationally board certified lactation consultant (IBCLC) and the author of several books. She has also appeared on many talk shows.  

First off, confession time.  The majority of the parenting books I've read lately have been sleep books. The Gentle Sleep Book is on my nightstand right now, and next up on the reading list.  I've read Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution, and some others that endorse some strategies that I am not comfortable with, but had nuggets of useful information: The Happy Sleeper by Heather Turgeon; the infamous Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Richard Ferber, and The Sleep Lady's Good Night Sleep Tight: Gentle Proven Solutions to Help Your Child Sleep Well and Wake Up Happy by Kim West. (More on these books in a later post about parenting books, babies, and bath water).  I've been reading all of these books because my son, DC, does not sleep very well.  I've posted in endless Facebook groups and feel like I've tried just about everything.  (So know that when I'm teaching the class on infant sleep and coping with sleep deprivation, I've been there done that!)

What have I learned from all this reading?

1) Most sleep books are geared towards supporting parents of babies that wake frequently throughout the night.
2) Much of the advice is about how to transition a baby from soothing methods that are heavy on parental involvement to more independent soothing.
3) Very few books have information about our specific problems: a baby that often won't be soothed if he knows that it's bedtime and a baby that enjoys one long extended waking compared to frequent but short wakings.
4) There's not a lot of information out there to help parents cope when their baby won't respond to the methods listed in these other books.

Now, back to the book at hand.

First off, this book is not going to solve all your sleep problems (necessarily).  But, many other things kept me bookmarking and highlighting. (33 notes and marks in my Kindle app).

The very first thing I highlighted summed up my problem with sleep books in one sentence: "If these magazine surveys are any indicator of sleep success, the regimes currently being offered are not helping babies and their parents get more sleep."

This book did not offer a regime of any kind.  There are definitely suggestions for improving sleep, but without promises and guarantees.  Some, I knew (such as creating a womb-like environment to help newborns transition during the fourth trimester) and some tips I hadn't heard before (DHA deficiency can affect both baby's sleep and mother's mood).  The lack of regime is exactly what I appreciated: McKay is adamant that there is no one size fits all solution to get babies and toddlers to sleep. Some babies thrive on the "sleep begets sleep" philosophy, and other babies need to get tired to fall asleep. Some babies crave sensory stimulation and others are easily overstimulated.  This book offers multiple perspectives, with the idea that parents are the ones that truly know their babies and can figure out what applies to their own child.

In that vein, this book had a feature that I don't usually enjoy: anecdotal paragraphs from parents.  In many books, these asides turn into a "I tried this method and it worked!" advertisements for the very book they are published in.  In this case, the perspectives shared by McKay support the idea that all children are different.  Different families tried different methods, and found success down different avenues.

I also found that Sleeping Like a Baby aligned well with OBC's Guiding Principles.  McKay writes: "One of the biggest issues around infant sleep is creating 'bad habits.'...Sleeping Like a Baby addresses these issues and shows you how to change any 'habit' at any stage gradually, with love, not tears, and how to gently introduce new sleep arrangements as your baby grows." (Principle #5 is "There are no magical times when you must start or stop something and Principle #6 is No habit you create now is irreversible).

This book addresses the science of infant sleep, the relationship between breastfeeding and sleep, safe bed sharing, SIDS risks factors and prevention methods, and how to cope.  Despite being written by an IBCLC and promoting breastfeeding's benefits, this book also talks about bonding and soothing for bottle-fed babies, including anecdotes from families that use bottles as well as from mothers that breastfeed.  In addition, the tips to promote a positive sleep environment are well fleshed out and explained clearly.  Although some are repeated in other books I have read, I felt that this book explained them the best.  They also would not be redundant if you have not read as many sleep books as I have.

In the end, if you are looking for a "sleep solution" book, this is not it. You won't walk away with a regime spelled out for you. But this is a book is for you if you need some new strategies in your bag of sleep tricks, want to understand how infant sleep works, and crave tips for surviving sleepless nights.


Note: This post contains affiliate links. Purchasing through affiliate links allows me to expand class offerings, purchase materials for my classes, and funds my continuing education as a parenting mentor. 

8 Things to Do When Your Baby Won't Sleep

Let me start off and say: this is not a sleep training post.

There are a lot of places to debate sleep training methods, from cry-it-out to gentle sleep training strategies.

This post is for the parents of babies who just won't sleep.



Dear Sleepless Parent,
You have bounced, swayed, sung, hummed, patted, and cuddled.  You have tried blackout curtains, white noise machines, infant massage, quiet bathtimes, and bedtime routines.  Maybe you've tried bed sharing, and yes, even letting baby cry it out. You've tried drowsy but awake and nursing to sleep.  You've cried out in desperation and walked away in tears to calm down, your baby screaming.  And you've gone back over and over again, to pick up that baby and soothe them, all the while wondering how you will function the next day.

I kept thinking he would fall asleep, but he immediately
popped up giggling

You see pictures of babies who have fallen asleep in strange positions, and wish your baby fell asleep that easily.  You cringe when people ask you if your baby is a "good" baby, which means a baby that sleeps through the night.

Maybe, once in a great while, you get a really good night. And you hope to yourself that it will repeat. Maybe it does, once or twice, and then things go back to your normal.

Your child won't go to bed. Or your child has extended wakings in the middle of the night. Or frequent wakings.  Whatever the problem, you are not alone.  Judging from the overnight activity on parenting Facebook groups, there are a lot of sleepless parents out there.  I'm probably up with you too.

Get yourself a cup of coffee or other caffeinated beverage, and get ready for some survival tips.

1. Adjust your expectations.  One of my favorite quotations of all time is "Comparison is the thief of joy."  All children are different.  The more I compare my two sleepers, the more frustrated I get with the non-sleeper.  When my husband and I realized that we had just about exhausted our options for changing HIS behavior, we realized we needed to change OUR behavior if we were going to get through this stage.

2. Understand infant and child sleep patterns.  Your wakeful child may be outside the averages, but knowing that the mystical achievement of a good night's sleep is more elusive than we are led to believe.

3. If possible, get support.  Make support a priority.  My husband and I share the night shift, since it's not always all about nursing for my son.  We've also discussed hiring a mother's helper to come during the week (even if it's just so you can grab a quick nap!).  Postpartum doulas are fantastic, if they work for your budget.  Find a friend to swap with.  The advice "sleep while the baby sleeps" is fantastic, but not always feasible, especially if you have other children or have to work. If you can get a good night's sleep even once a week, you might be surprised how much it recharges you after days and days of exhaustion.

4. Caffeinate.  Although anecdotal evidence indicates that some babies have sensitivities to caffeine in breastmilk, there is no scientific evidence.  If you've cut out caffeine and still have a sleepless baby, go for the coffee or tea.  It won't hurt baby, and it might help you.

5. Go to bed early.  It's tough, because if baby did go to bed, this might be your only adult time.  But a 1am wakeup is much easier if you went to bed at 9pm than if you closed your eyes at 11pm.

6.  If you have a baby with extended night waking, and you've tried the whole "keep the atmosphere dark, quiet, and calming" thing and baby STILL wants to play, take the pressure off yourself.  Have a safe space for baby to play, lay down on the floor, and doze.  After a little while, try again to put the baby back to bed.  It gives you a chance to destress, which in turn can help baby relax.  Notice the floor bed in the photo above.  Baby's room is completely baby proof, and if he gets playful, he can play with some toys while we take turns resting.

7.  Put on your own oxygen mask first.  Self-care is important for ALL parents, not just the extra-sleep-deprived ones, but it is especially important.  Figure out what self-care looks like for you, and make it a priority.

8. Ignore the nay-sayers and the people who don't understand.  I say this kindly, having been one of those people who don't understand.  If someone says "just do XYZ and baby will sleep," they may not have walked in your shoes.  If someone says "embrace that time with your baby in the middle of the night," they might not know that your baby is screaming and it's really hard to enjoy that time when it happens every single night.

Love,
Another Sleepy Mom.

(Note: Sometimes, medical conditions can contribute to sleeplessness. If you are concerned about your child's sleep habits, contact a care provider or sleep specialist).

And when they do fall asleep, document it with photographic evidence!

Toys!

DH and I try not to fill our house with toys that are plastic and made in China. We love wooden toys but they can be pricey. We also would like new toys to be something special.  It's too easy to end up with a lot of junk. How can you make green choices without spending a lot of money?

Remember the three Rs? Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle. We just mentioned that we reduce the number of toys we purchase. We love reusing, especially now with the more fashionable moniker of "upcycling."

Pinterest is particularly helpful. I did a search for sensory toys and came up with tons of ideas, one of which I was able to implement during nap time. 

Ribbon Pull

Materials:

4 ribbons (more or less), about 12" long. Exact measurements not necessary but they should vary in color and texture if possible. 

Oatmeal or other cardboard canister, with lid

Exacto knife

Optional:

Scrapbook paper

Glue or Modge Podge

Ruler

Instructions:

1. If using scrapbook paper to cover your canister, measure the height of your container. I measured from the bottom to the lip at the top. My paper wasn't quite wide enough to wrap all the way around, so I cut an extra strip to fill in the empty space.

2.  Glue or Modge Podge your paper to the canister, smoothing to avoid bubbles. I like using a foam brush to apply Modge Podge. I MP'ed the outside of the paper too. Hopefully that will keep Abby from being able to peel the paper off. 

3. Trace the lid onto another piece of scrapbook paper. I was able to use the leftover from the sheet that I used to wrap the container. 

4. Apply a thin layer of glue to your lid. If you have an opaque lid, glue to the outside. My lid was translucent, so I glued it on the inside. Press on the paper, smoothing out bubbles. 

5. You can start here if you didn't use paper! Using the knife, carefully cut small holes in the sides of your canister, just big enough for the ribbon. Cut one hole for each ribbon.

6. Thread the ribbons through the holes, tying knots on the ends outside the canister.

7. Cut holes in your lid and thread the ribbon through, again tying a knot on the end. 

8. Give all your ribbons a good tug from each end to make sure the knots won't go through the holes. 

9. Optional: glue on the lid. 

10. Supervise your child while they play, particularly babies.

Our Baby Class

Things have been busy around here. I am continuing to be a consultant and cloth diaper educator with Diaper Parties/Squigglybugs and a host site for Share the Love. I've also become a volunteer babywearing educator (VBE) with Babywearing International and am working with a new chapter in the Northern Shenandoah Valley area. On top of all that, I am so excited to announce that I am now certified as an Our Baby Class (OBC) teacher, and I am offering classes and support to new parents in Northern Virginia and the Piedmont region.

Our Baby Class’ mission is to build confidence in parenting through a simple, intuitive, and practical approach. I will be offering classes to new parents on topics ranging from infant sleep, to soothing and bonding with your baby, to returning to work, and everything in between. It’s my hope that as an OBC teacher and mentor, I can help create a parenting village of support that will guide new families and encourage them to listen to their inner parenting voice.

I hope you will let all of your friends, co-workers, and family know that I would love to meet them and help them navigate the wonderful journey that is parenthood.

Here are some links that will give you a great idea of the Our Baby Class program and philosophy:

• Core Class and Specialty Class descriptions
• OBC’s Guiding Principles
• The OBC Experience

If you have any questions about the program or the classes I will be teaching, just let me know!

Please share this blog post with anyone who you think might be interested in attending one of my classes. You can also help me by liking my new business page on Facebook, and simply keeping me in mind whenever you meet new and expectant families!

Thank you!

Flats and Handwashing Challenge Day 7: Final Thoughts

The sun has set on Day 7 of the Flats and Handwashing Challenge.  Baby Boy and Little Girl are asleep in their receiving blanket flats and the rest of the last round of diapers are in the bucket ready to be handwashed in the morning.

Here are my final thoughts:
I love flats.  My husband, it turns out, really likes them too.  They are going into regular use now at our house.  I love going coverless with flats.  I love being able to repurpose other things into diapers. I'm glad I learned how to handwash.

I'm also really thankful for my washing machine and dryer.  Last night, I fell asleep before washing diapers and felt stressed all day that they wouldn't dry in time, even with ironing and fans blowing, because of high humidity and rainy weather.

I do feel like I can recommend flats and handwashing as a totally workable solution for those who are on a tight budget.  It took me about 20 minutes after bedtime each night to get the diapers washed and hung to dry--far less time than using the washer and dryer.  I learned that receiving blankets work great as an overnight solution for heavy wetters--although I will be going back to using my fitteds for nighttime.

My "stash" of 22 diapers was sufficient, as long as I washed every day.  I did have to make one adjustment: Little Girl soaked through her receiving blanket and cover the first night, so I pulled out an extra wool cover for her.  Although I didn't use it for this challenge (because it was dirty), I do have an upcycled wool cover, and I have used wool longies made from sweaters in the past--that makes even wool an affordable option.  Washing wool today felt like less of a big deal when I was already washing all the other diapers by hand.

Tomorrow morning, I'm filling the diaper bag with flats.  And when I come home, I'm going to throw them in the diaper pail to be washed in the washing machine--every other day.

Flats and Handwashing Challenge Day 5: Wash Routine

Wash routine is the biggest part of the challenge for me this week. I've used flats before, although never full time, and I like them.  But hand washing diapers? It wasn't something I'd ever done before.
Luckily, Kimberly Rosas at Dirty Diaper Laundry, who started the challenge, did a great video on creating and using a camp washer.  I followed her directions and worked on finding a wash routine that worked for me.  She also inspired me to make my first ever (edited) video.

In case you are currently nursing or otherwise unable to watch a video, here's the rundown. 

1) I soak my diapers throughout the day, in a bucket with a firmly attached lid.  To save water, I use the leftover rinse water from the night before.  This is the old school way of dealing with dirty diapers.  (The rest of the time, I use a dry pail lined with a wet bag).  Before putting the diapers in the pail, I give them a quick rinse (even the ones with just pee).  

2) Agitate the rinse water for a couple of minutes. 

3) Drain out the water as completely as possible. 

4) Add hot water and about a tablespoon of castile soap. Use enough water to make a "soup." 

5) Use the plunger to agitate for another 5-10 minutes.  I find that I went back and forth on using the lid.  6) Pour off the dirty wash water. 

7) Use cold water to rinse the diapers, both in the bucket and with running water for each diaper. 

8) Wring and hang to dry. 

Flats Challenge Day 4: On the Go

I actually looked forward to posting about being out and about with flats for this challenge.  Although I don't use flats full time, they are one of my favorites for the diaper bag.  

I wrote a little bit about this in my comparison of Ju-Ju-Be diaper bags. I can fit everything for one diaper change in my Ju-Ju-Be Quick if I use flats, which take up about the same room as dry disposables.  With my big mommy wallet, flats are the only cloth diaper that fit well in this bag.

This is my favorite diaper bag for running errands or going out for a couple of hours.  It's called the Ju-Ju-Be Light, and here it is, all ready to go. It's a nice lightweight bag and super cute to boot.  With flats, I have plenty of room for everything that I need. I can fit three (or more) diaper changes, along with everything I need for the toddler and my own personal items.  It looks a little bit different depending on my needs for that day.  But no matter what's inside, I always feel a little more classy when I carry this bag.  

 On Monday, I headed out for a morning appointment and lunch date.  Little girl was sick and so was her daddy, so I left them at home recuperating and watching Disney movies.  With just baby boy, I was able to travel quite lightly.

• Change of clothes
• Wetbag
• Wipe solution
• Cloth wipes
• Diaper cream
• Hand sanitizer
• Two clean covers
• Three flats

In the outer pockets of the diaper bag, I was able to stuff my wallet, phone, keys, and a Moleskin notebook.  The flats are folded in the well-named "diaper bag fold," which happens to be my favorite. 

While I was out, I needed to change baby boy in the back of our car--somewhat dirty from hauling plants.  No problem! I shook out one of the diapers and laid it flat--instant changing mat.  Need to wipe baby boy's runny nose?  Spare flat to the rescue.  We're largely beyond the spit-up phase, but, flats work great as burp cloths too.  They are the most versatile option for your diaper bag.  

  

Flats and Handwashing Challenge Day 3: Open Prompt, or A Historian's Thoughts

Welp, it's day 3 of the Flats and Handwashing Challenge, and for us in the blogosphere, that means we had a choice on our blog topic for the day.  Some people are writing about using flats in daycare and others are writing about the reaction of other caregivers. But, my mind keeps going around the idea that flats are THE diaper of history (at least Western history).  A discussion popped on on Facebook about how the challenge reminded some of us of scenes from "Call the Midwife," the British show about mid-20th century midwives in working class London.  On top of that, I've been thinking about Kimberly Rosas' recent post about vintage diapers.

"There was a clear and obvious disdain for the waterproof covers; it was inferred that parents using them full time were lazy and cared more for their own convenience than their child’s." 

In images of diapered children from the time before disposables, few are wearing any sort of cover over their diapers.  In "Call the Midwife," the babies wear "terry squares," which are the flats still common in the UK today.  In fact, Princess Charlotte will be wearing terry squares folded origami style.

In my own life as a historian, I've done a bit of reading about 18th century cloth diapering.  And although I did find the use of wool "flannel squares" to be worn over the diaper, these were not shaped diaper covers such as we would use today.  Nor were they used universally, as some deemed covering diapers an unsanitary practice.

Although I'm well acquainted with the waterproofing properties of wool, when I imagined leaving baby completely coverless, I have to admit that I imagined pee everywhere.  Then, during this challenge, I enjoyed seeing the cute flats that I had bought, and thought--what the heck? I have hardwood floors, I'm already potty-training a toddler, and it's 80 degrees.  Let's go coverless and see what happens.

Cuteness.  That's what happens.  I've been using the diaper bag fold (more on folds in a future post) with the excess fabric around the legs rolled in.  The rolling creates a tighter seal, hopefully preventing any escapes of less than solid waste.  So far, it's been doing an excellent job--even better than my prefolds.  He hasn't let loose while coverless, but none of my covers have gotten dirty yet.

But what about the pee?

Well, they are surprisingly absorbent.  I do need to be mindful and check frequently.  But we have had no crazy leaks.  As soon as there is the slightest hint of dampness, he gets a diaper change.  And really, that's probably a good thing!  With something thicker, like a terry square, you'd have even longer between changes.

Thinking back to how babies spent their time through history--Western babies have spent a lot of time in cradles and then prams.  This means that compression leaks were less likely, and a waterproof cover (wool or rubber) would be primarily used when baby was on furniture or being held, to protect from inadvertent leaks.

How about for the modern lifestyle?  Modern life is frequently hectic.  It might not always be easy to check regularly before the fabric soaks through.  As a babywearer, I'm not going to wrap my baby without some kind of cover.  Well, I take that back, I did put him up on my back in a buckle carrier for a few minutes yesterday. I did keep reaching back to feel the diaper though.  Still, when I'm at home, especially when it's warm, I think I might keep going coverless. It's definitely better for his skin.

Photo notes: Little Boy is wearing a modern wool cover in both photographs, both because of my previous fear of going cover free and because his diaper was fastened with a Snappi instead of straight pins.

Flats and Handwashing Challenge Day 2: The Stash

The Washer

In the spirit of the challenge, I tried not to buy much, but ended up “splurging” a little bit.

First of all, I wanted to make the camp washer.  My husband already had the drill bit that he needed, so I just had to buy the plunger, bucket, and lid.  

Camp Washer:

Plunger: $2.98 (Wal-Mart)

5 Gallon Bucket: $2.97 (Home Depot)

Lid: $1.68 (Home Depot)

Total: $7.63

The Stash

The Diapers:

As I mentioned in a previous post, I’m a host site for Share the Love, a cloth diaper donation bank.  Our recipients receive the equivalent of 15 diapers changes. One cover and three inserts is equivalent to 3 changes. That means, if I were handing out flats, my recipient would receive 15 flats and 5 covers for each child in diapers.  I wanted to try to stick to this fairly closely, keeping in mind how a recipient might be able to supplement if they needed to.  

I already had 6 Osocozy flats, 1 Hemp Babies flat (I think I paid $8 for it), and 7 cotton flannel receiving blankets (four were baby shower gifts and three were picked up for a quarter each at a yard sale when I was pregnant).  I made one more flat out of some flannel that I had leftover from a sewing project.  For the challenge, I bought one 5-pack of flour sack towels for $4.88 and splurged on two “pretty” flour sack towels at Wal-Mart for $2.78 each. That brings my total “stash” to 22 diapers for my two kiddos. My daughter will be using four of the receiving blankets for naps and nighttime use.    

As for the covers, I previously picked up three Thirsties covers for $10 at a consignment sale, and one Econobum cover came in a mystery pack with my OsoCozy flats for a total of $18.95.  And to round it out for my son, I have two Flip covers that I bought used for $9 each.  I also have a Blueberry cover that I bought for $0.25 at a cloth diaper swap and two WAHM covers that were $12 total. I’ll be using those for my daughter, since she is only in diapers for naps and nighttime.  Finally, for nighttime, I’ll be using two wool covers for my son the heavy wetter. I bought them when my daughter was a newborn.  I think I paid about $29 each for them, making them the most expensive part of this venture.

Changing Station at the Ready

Total Diaper Cost for Two Kiddos: $136.39 ($78.39 without the price of the wool covers). It sounds like a lot, but it's been purchased over two and a half years. That means the cost comes to $4.50/month.

(The only things I purchased specifically for the challenge were the flour sack cloths and the materials for the camp washer.  I purchased the flour sack cloths so I could share my experiences with them).  

Are Cloth Diapers Bad for the Environment?

The Washington Post recently published an opinion piece entitled "Why Cloth Diapers Might Not Be the Greener Choice, After All." Given the subject and that one of the people quoted shares my name, several people have sent me the piece and asked my opinion.

"Although there is a growing market for all-in-one reusable diapers made from synthetics, most cloth diapers are still cotton prefolds — rectangles of fabric that fit into waterproof liners."

The piece mainly focuses on cotton prefolds, which make up only part of a vast universe of cloth diaper options.  The author spoke to Stephanie Hanson (not me), who was researching her diaper service options and wanted to be sure her diaper service used fuel efficient vehicles.  It's true that diaper services do generally use cotton prefolds.  However, the majority of parents that I know do not use a diaper service, instead laundering diapers at home and using the diapers that work best for their families.  The author, Kendyl Salcito, focuses on the environmental and social impact of conventional cotton production.

"Then there’s the water that cotton pollutes, as one of the world’s most pesticide-heavy crops. In India, cotton covers 5 percent of cropland, but it’s doused with 54 percent of the nation’s annual pesticide use."

The environmental impact of conventional cotton production cannot be debated.  However, this argument leaves out several factors.  Many cloth diaper users make a choice to use organic cotton instead, mitigating this concern.  And, some eschew cotton altogether in favor of other textiles, such as bamboo, hemp, and synthetic fibers.  While bamboo may or may not be better for the environment (bamboo rayon to be more accurate), hemp is a very ecologically friendly crop as well as being fabulously absorbent.

"Roughly 30 cloth diapers serve the function of 4,000 disposables."

This is true, for those who have a single child and then throw the diapers away.  However, we are currently using some diapers that are on their fourth child (hand-me-downs from a friend).  That means these diapers are on their way to replacing 16,000 disposables. When prefolds are no longer worn by the child, they are often repurposed as rags.  I remember my dad polishing furniture with the prefolds I'd worn as a baby. I had to be at least six or seven years old.  While cloth diapers can be repurposed, sold, or given away, a disposable diaper used for a couple of hours ends up in a landfill, where it will sit emitting methane gas in near perpetuity.

She also doesn't take into account that diaper "upcycling" isn't a one-way process.  Families repurpose flour sack cloths, flannel receiving blankets, and t-shirts into flat diapers (like I'm doing this week!). Washing machines are increasingly efficient (and when we were on city water, we did not notice an increase in our water bill when we started doing diaper laundry, even without an HE machine).

Salcito does mention the effort of Cotton Babies, Inc. to make cloth diapers a more ethical option, but Cotton Babies is not alone. As with any purchase, there are always choices that are more or less ethical. Parents who prioritize the environment may opt for organic cotton or hemp. Caregivers who are worried about labor practices may support companies that manufacture diapers domestically or in Canada.  By limiting the argument to cotton prefolds and a single manufacturer, she misses the greater picture.

One final thought: if Salcito is so against the evils of cotton production, does she always opt for other fibers over cotton?

For more on the environmental decision between disposables and cloth diapers, as well as other reasons that parents opt for cloth diapers, visit this page by the Real Diaper Association.

The Flats and Handwashing Challenge

What is the Flats and Handwashing Challenge?  All the details are on Dirty Diaper Laundry's website, but basically, participants commit to using only flat cloth diapers and covers for one week, and agree to only hand wash and line-dry the diapers.  Kim Rosas of Dirty Diaper Laundry was inspired to start this challenge by families that were in such dire financial straits that they were washing and reusing disposable diapers.  There are cloth diaper banks, such as Giving Diapers, Giving Hope and Share the Love (which I volunteer for) that provide cloth diaper loans to families in need.  However, many families don't own a washer and dryer, and the expense of washing diapers at a laundromat can be cost prohibitive.  Flats, however, are very economical to purchase and easy to hand wash.  They're easy to find and many other cotton items can be repurposed as flat diapers (flannel receiving blankets, t-shirts, and flour sack towels, to name a few).

Why am I doing the challenge?

As a host site for Share the Love, I want to speak from personal experience when offering solutions in cloth diapering.  As a Diaper Parties consultant, I also want to be able to provide economical options for families on a tight budget, even if they aren't eligible for a cloth diaper loan.  Recently, a family asked me for advice on how to handle cloth diapering when traveling or on vacation.  I feel like this challenge is a great way to practice what to do when camping, on vacation, or during a power outage.

Sometimes, in the world of cloth diapers, we get super excited about cool new diapers or adorable prints. Limited releases crash websites and sometimes, cloth diapers become an investment game. There's nothing wrong with any of that, and it's great for getting people excited about modern cloth diapers.  It's also great that families can make their money back in a way that's totally impossible with disposable diapers.  But at the same time, it can be intimidating or off-putting for those who can't participate in that market. I want to help raise awareness that cloth diapering can truly be for everyone.  Simplicity can be just as good.

I have some hand me down flats and some OsoCozy flats, and I'll be spending the next two weeks figuring out just how many flats I'm going to need. I'm planning on supplementing with some of our old receiving blankets and possibly t-shirts, to get a true idea of what I can recommend.  My son will be eleven months during the challenge, and is a heavy wetter at night.  My daughter is currently in the process of potty training, and may or may not be in diapers during the day but will likely be diapered at night during the challenge.  We're also going to make a camp washer before the challenge starts.

This will be my first year participating, and I just can't wait!